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Joz Norris' latest show, 'You Wait. Time Passes', is a thought-provoking exploration of artistic character and the choices that define a creative life. In this maverick confection of a show, Norris takes on the role of an unhinged, self-absorbed guru figure, imparting life lessons with a healthy dose of silliness.The show delves into Norris's career as a comedian, actor, and magician, as well as his bid to become Google's number one Joz. Through snippets of his career and interactions with his erratic AI girlfriend, Norris presents a picture of himself as a complex, multifaceted artist.At its core, the show poses big questions about the futility of the niche creative's life and whether weird artists are truly weird or just trying to express themselves in a different way. While some moments feel a bit strenuous or for-its-own-sake, the show's extreme dottiness is backed up by good jokes, twisty philosophy, and a highly energetic performance.Ultimately, 'You Wait. Time Passes' constitutes a curiously rousing defence of experimental art-making in a conformist, capitalist world. The show is a must-see for fans of comedy and experimental art, and it will be touring after its run at the Lowry in Salford.

US Vice‑President JD Vance addressed a podium in Pakistan, confirming that after a marathon 21‑hour negotiation no settlement had been secured to end the conflict with Iran. Meanwhile, President Donald Trump was in Miami watching a mixed‑martial‑arts fight, a stark contrast that underscored the administration’s focus on spectacle over substantive diplomacy. The breakdown was not accidental. Washington insists Iran must relinquish any capacity to develop a nuclear weapon, whereas Tehran maintains its right to a civilian nuclear programme and rejects the notion of a weapons agenda. The US “final and best offer” demanded a complete surrender of that capability, a condition more akin to imposing victory than fostering negotiation. Compounding the impasse, the United States sought unrestricted navigation through the Strait of Hormuz, a critical artery for global energy supplies. Iran, however, pressed for transit fees, lifted sanctions, unfrozen assets, reparations, and a broader regional cease‑fire. The divergent demands meant that a single round of talks could not bridge the gap, resulting in negotiations devoid of trust and a war without a clear resolution. Historical wisdom, echoed by Winston Churchill’s famous remark that "jaw‑jaw is better than war‑war", highlights the high cost of continued fighting. Ironically, the current US‑Iran dispute revolves around a nuclear programme that was once restrained by a deal the Trump administration later abrogated, and a maritime route that the same administration helped ignite by launching the conflict. The fragile cease‑fire’s survival now hinges not only on Washington and Tehran but also on Israel’s expanding offensive in southern Lebanon against Hezbollah, an operation that has drawn accusations of war crimes and threatens to widen the regional conflagration. Financial markets are unlikely to react positively to recent developments. American voters are already feeling the impact of surging fuel prices, and Trump’s consideration of a naval blockade of the Strait of Hormuz could exacerbate the situation. Disrupting a route that carries roughly one‑fifth of global oil would push prices higher, with ripple effects far beyond the Gulf. The current cease‑fire is set to expire in just over a week. While diplomatic talks have not formally ended, a stalemate persists and the logic of escalation is gaining traction. Iran appears unlikely to concede, opting instead to test US resolve at sea. Seasonal heat may limit a full‑scale ground offensive for now, but the risk of a shift toward naval confrontations, airstrikes, and proxy warfare looms, offering no winners—only further loss.

Britain’s cabinet is set to introduce a sweeping bill that would let ministers dynamically align UK regulations with EU single‑market rules using so‑called Henry VIII powers. The proposal would enable the government to adopt evolving EU standards in sectors such as food, drink, automotive and emissions trading without the need for a separate parliamentary vote on each change.The legislation is tied to the forthcoming food and drink trade deal with the EU, which the government claims will generate £5.1 billion a year for the British economy. By granting ministers the ability to implement new EU rules through secondary legislation, the bill aims to cut red tape, lower costs for businesses, and accelerate the rollout of trade agreements.Under the proposed framework, Parliament would retain the ability to approve or reject secondary legislation but would not be able to amend it. Critics warn this could turn MPs into mere "rubber‑stamps" for EU‑aligned regulations, limiting democratic scrutiny and potentially provoking retaliatory measures from the EU if the UK blocks such instruments.Political analysts note that the move comes amid heightened geopolitical tension following the United States’ war with Iran, which has exposed the fragility of Britain’s special relationship with Washington. Ministers argue that deeper regulatory alignment with the EU will add billions to the UK economy, mitigate the cost of the conflict, and address the “sluggish productivity” that has plagued the post‑Brexit era.Economic forecasts from the Office for Budget Responsibility (OBR) underscore the stakes: Brexit is projected to cut long‑run productivity by 4 % and shrink both exports and imports by 15 % compared with a scenario where the UK remained in the EU. Proponents of the bill contend that aligning with EU standards without re‑joining the customs union or single market will help reverse these losses while respecting political red lines on sovereignty and freedom of movement.Opposition parties, including hard‑Brexit advocates and the Liberal Democrats, have signalled they will challenge the bill, particularly in the House of Lords. The government acknowledges that while the Commons is unlikely to reject the proposal, the Lords could pose a significant obstacle.Academic voices, such as Prof Anand Menon of the think‑tank UK in a Changing Europe, caution that the approach amounts to “integration with the EU by stealth,” stripping the UK of a vote on the rules it will be forced to follow. He describes the situation as “the ugly trade‑off of Brexit,” where political control is sacrificed for economic access.Supporters counter that the bill will streamline the implementation of existing and future agreements, with any regulatory disputes to be settled by an independent tribunal rather than an EU court. They argue this balances the need for swift economic action with the preservation of constitutional safeguards.Prime Minister Keir Starmer has framed the initiative as part of a broader “reset” of UK‑EU relations, emphasizing a strategic partnership that deepens trade and defence cooperation while avoiding a return to the customs union or single market membership. The government stresses that Parliament will still play its “full constitutional role” in scrutinising the legislation.

Luton Town have won the Vertu Trophy, defeating Stockport 2-1 in the final. The match, held at Wembley, saw Nahki Wells score twice for Luton, securing their first trophy since 2009. This victory marks a significant milestone for Jack Wilshere, who has been managing Luton for six months and 38 games.The match began with Stockport taking an early lead through Adama Sidibeh. However, Luton equalized with a goal from Emilio Lawrence. Wells then scored the winning goal, showcasing his exemplary touch and control from a pass by Kal Naismith.Despite Stockport's efforts to equalize, Luton maintained their dominance. The team's progressive and inventive style of play ultimately led to their victory. Wilshere expressed his happiness for the players, stating, “Mainly, I am happy for the players. They have believed in me.”This win also signifies a positive step for Luton in their bid to secure a playoff position in League One. The team's performance under Wilshere's management has been promising, with Jordan Clark, one of Luton's Premier League survivors, praising Wilshere's tactical acumen.

Tyson Fury, the Gypsy King of boxing, has once again called out Anthony Joshua for a highly anticipated superfight, but the question remains: will it ever happen? The two British boxing legends have been talking about facing each other for over 10 years, but the bout has been plagued by delays, postponements, and cancellations. Following his dominant victory over Arslanbek Makhmudov at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, Fury expressed his desire to fight Joshua next, stating, "I've no idea" if the fight will happen. Despite Joshua's presence ringside, he refused to give a definitive answer, citing the need for time to recover from a tragic car crash in Nigeria that claimed the lives of two of his close friends. Fury, who has been chasing Joshua for a decade, sounded perplexed by Joshua's evasive response. "He didn't give an answer," Fury said. "In my opinion, he didn't want no smoke. He didn't look like he wanted it. He was shell-shocked." Fury emphasized that he has given Joshua the respect and space he deserves, especially after his recent personal tragedy. Joshua, on the other hand, appeared dismissive, stating "Contracts are being sent over and you’ll probably see us in the ring next, more than likely." When asked if he needed a warm-up fight, Joshua quipped, "Good question. That [Fury] could be a warmup fight, based on what I saw tonight." Fury dismissed the suggestion that Joshua needed a proper test against a real boxer before stepping into the ring with him. "It’s another stumbling block. He’s just knocked a man spark out," Fury said. "I’ve just come off a win. Let’s get it on. He’s 36. I’m 37. What’s the holdup?" The two fighters have had a long and complicated history, with Fury noting, "If it ain’t Anthony Joshua next I’m not interested in boxing. I’ll eat a thousand Easter eggs, go up to 35 stone. I’m out. It’s either him or I’m gone again. I’m not interested in up-and-comers. I’m not interested in someone trying to prove a point over me. I don’t care about rankings or belts. I only care now about AJ. That’s the defining fight for British boxing."

Wout van Aert broke a ten‑year drought at the Paris‑Roubaix on Sunday, out‑sprinting world champion Tadej Pogacar in one of cycling’s toughest cobbled classics. Both Van Aert and Pogacar suffered punctures during the race, as did their fellow Belgian rival Mathieu van der Poel, who endured two mechanical issues and was unable to contest the final sprint. Van Aert’s victory secured his second Monument title, following his 2020 Milan‑San Remo win. After neutralising Pogacar’s repeated attacks on the cobbles, Van Aert unleashed a decisive burst of speed on the Roubaix Velodrome, crossing the line ahead of the world champion. Jasper Stuyven completed the podium, finishing 13 seconds behind the winner. Van der Poel, who was chasing a fourth consecutive Paris‑Roubaix triumph, fell to fourth place after a mechanical problem on a treacherous sector cost him more than two minutes. “It’s everything to me, it’s been a goal since I first did this race. I stopped believing a lot of times but I would start believing again the next day,” Van Aert said, reflecting on the personal significance of the win after years of bad luck in the “Queen of the Classics.” The Visma‑Lease a Bike rider dedicated his victory to former teammate Michael Goolaerts, who tragically died after a cardiac arrest in the 2018 edition of the race. “Arriving for a final sprint with the world champion and beating him in a sprint is very special,” he added. Pogacar entered the race after clinching the first two Monument classics of the season – the Milan‑San Remo and the Tour of Flanders – and was aiming to become the first Tour de France champion to win Paris‑Roubaix since Bernard Hinault in 1981.

Sergio García, the 2017 Masters winner, made the cut at Augusta National but saw his weekend marred by a heated outburst on the second hole. After a mis‑hit tee shot, he struck his club into the ground, snapped off its head, and tossed it into a nearby cooler.Masters officials responded swiftly, issuing García a code‑of‑conduct warning. Under tournament rules, a second breach would add a two‑stroke penalty, while a third could lead to disqualification.In the aftermath of the incident, García stepped in to assist his playing partner Jon Rahm, picking up and carrying Rahm’s clubs while Rahm’s caddie was occupied raking a bunker.The Masters has seen several disciplinary actions this year. Scotland’s Robert MacIntyre received a reprimand for flashing an obscene gesture toward spectators after a wayward shot landed in water.García entered the round 16 shots behind leaders Rory McIlroy and Cameron Young. Although he managed a par on the second hole, he recorded three bogeys in the first four holes, slipping further down the leaderboard.Known for a volatile temperament, García’s latest flare adds to a history of on‑course confrontations: at the 2023 Open Championship he broke his driver after a similar outburst, was disqualified from the 2019 Saudi International for damaging greens, and clashed with officials at the 2022 Wells Fargo Championship before departing the PGA Tour for LIV Golf.

The collapse of talks between the US and Iran has sent shockwaves through global markets, fuelling fears of a prolonged energy crisis and rising inflation. The failure to reach a peace deal has left large numbers of oil tankers stuck in the Persian Gulf, with oil prices fluctuating wildly in response to the uncertainty.US Vice-President JD Vance has blamed the collapse of the talks on Tehran's refusal to abandon its nuclear weapons programme, while Iranian sources have hit back at what they describe as 'excessive' demands from Washington. The stalemate has raised concerns about the long-term impact on the global economy, with governments and central banks warning of higher inflation and interest rates.Mohamed El-Erian, an adviser to Allianz, has cautioned that uncertainty will continue to dominate assessments of the financial impact from the conflict. 'Absent a swift resumption of negotiations, the immediate reaction of financial markets when they open for the trading week will be to push oil prices higher and borrowing costs higher,' he said.The International Monetary Fund and World Bank's spring meetings in Washington will focus on the war's impact on the global economy, with the IMF's managing director, Kristalina Georgieva, indicating that the fund will present three scenarios predicting lower economic growth and higher inflation. The IMF is also expected to highlight the impact on vulnerable economies.In the short term, oil prices have ended the week lower, with Brent crude at $94.26 a barrel and West Texas Intermediate crude at $95.63 a barrel. However, global stock markets have rebounded after a temporary ceasefire was announced, with the S&P; 500 close to its level before the US-Israeli attacks on Iran began.

The United States’ senior envoy, Vice President JD Vance, said the marathon talks in Islamabad collapsed because Iran would not abandon its nuclear weapons programme, a stance Tehran’s representatives dismissed as a lack of US goodwill. Vance, who departed Islamabad on Sunday after a 21‑hour session with Iranian officials, reiterated that Washington’s red lines required an "affirmative commitment" from Tehran that it would not pursue a nuclear weapon or the means to acquire one quickly. He described the stalemate as "bad news for Iran much more than it is for the United States." Iranian parliament speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf countered that, despite offering "constructive initiatives," the US failed to win the trust of the Iranian delegation, leaving it to Washington to decide whether it can regain that confidence. Iran’s foreign ministry downplayed expectations, stating that no one anticipated a deal in a single session and emphasizing continued regional contacts, while the semi‑official Tasnim news agency blamed "excessive" US demands for the impasse. The talks took place under a 14‑day ceasefire agreed by the US, Iran and Israel, with Pakistan’s foreign minister Ishaq Dar urging both sides to honour the pause and offering to facilitate renewed dialogue. The conflict, which began on 28 February, has already claimed over 3,000 lives in Iran, more than 2,000 in Lebanon, and dozens across the Gulf region, while inflicting extensive infrastructure damage. Israeli security cabinet minister Ze’ev Elkin warned that Iran is "playing with fire," even as he left the door open for further negotiations. These were the first direct US‑Iran talks in more than a decade and could determine the fate of the fragile ceasefire and the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz—a chokepoint for roughly 20 % of global energy supplies. The war has already sent international oil prices soaring. In addition to Vance, US special envoy Steve Witkoff and former President Trump’s son‑in‑law Jared Kushner met with Ghalibaf and Iranian foreign minister Abbas Araghchi for two hours before a brief recess. The Iranian delegation arrived in black mourning attire for the late Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and carried shoes and bags belonging to children killed in a school bombing near a military compound—a strike the Pentagon says is under investigation, with some reports suggesting US involvement. Pakistani security forces sealed off Islamabad, a city of over two million, underscoring Pakistan’s newly prominent mediating role after a year of diplomatic isolation. The US military announced it was "setting conditions" to clear mines and allow warships to pass through the Strait of Hormuz, a claim Iran’s state media denied. Prior to the talks, a senior Iranian source told Reuters that the US had agreed to release frozen Iranian assets held in Qatar and other banks, a statement the US later denied. Tehran’s broader demands include control over the strait, payment of war reparations, a region‑wide ceasefire—including in Lebanon—and the collection of transit fees from shipping traffic. President Trump’s minimum objectives remain the free passage of global shipping through the strait and the crippling of Iran’s nuclear enrichment capability to prevent the development of an atomic bomb.