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Executive Summary: Masturbation Recognized as Natural Avian BehaviorA collaborative survey of 120 bird species shows that self‑pleasuring is widespread, more frequent in the wild than in captivity, and poses no health risk. The findings challenge long‑standing advice to discourage or punish the behavior and call for a shift in veterinary guidance.Comprehensive Survey Highlights Widespread Onanism Across Diverse SpeciesThe research, led by Dr Chloe Heys (University of Lancashire) and co‑author Dr Matilda Brindle (Oxford University), combined expert interviews, online keeper communities, and published literature. Species documented include parrots, ducks, turkeys, chickens and numerous others, with both males and females engaging in the activity.Quantitative Findings Underscore Higher Incidence in Wild Populations120 bird species examined, spanning captive and wild individuals.Incidence reported as higher in wild birds than in captivity.Male birds were slightly more frequently mentioned, but female participation was notable.Repercussions for Veterinary Practice and Bird WelfareVeterinarians are urged to reassure owners that the behavior is normal and not a sign of distress. Interventions such as perch removal, hormonal treatments, or even surgical de‑sexing are deemed unnecessary except in rare pathological cases. Dr Ana Basto (University of Lancashire) emphasizes that the study will help vets provide evidence‑based advice.Projected Shift Toward Non‑Interventionist Care in Avian HusbandryAs the scientific community accepts masturbation as a natural component of avian sexual repertoires, bird‑keeping guidelines are expected to evolve. Future husbandry practices will likely focus on monitoring for genuine health issues rather than attempting to suppress a harmless behavior, fostering better welfare outcomes for both captive and wild birds.

Sperm whales produce a series of rapid clicks, known as codas, that researchers have now shown contain vowel‑like elements and phonetic rules akin to those of human speech.Using advanced acoustic analysis and artificial‑intelligence tools, a team led by linguist Gašper Beguš at UC Berkeley found that variations in click length, pitch rise, and fall encode distinct “vowel” sounds, creating patterns comparable to languages such as Mandarin, Latin and Slovenian.The findings, published in the Proceedings B journal, describe the whale communication system as “highly complex” and one of the closest animal parallels to human phonology, indicating a case of independent evolution of language‑like structures.The research was conducted by Project CETI (Cetacean Translation Initiative), which has been recording sperm whales off Dominica. The project recently released video of a collaborative birth, underscoring the species’ rich social lives.According to Project CETI founder David Gruber, the whales’ “chit‑chat” occurs when individuals press their heads together near the surface, a behavior he likens to intimate, face‑to‑face conversation rather than distant shouting.By removing silent gaps between clicks, the team uncovered rhythmic patterns that function like human vowel modulation—altering vocal fold tension to shift an “A” into an “E.” This level of linguistic sophistication surpasses that observed in other vocal animals such as parrots and elephants.Behavioral ecologist Mauricio Cantor (not involved in the study) noted that the discovery reveals multiple interacting layers of structure in whale signals, a complexity previously unappreciated.Project CETI aims to identify at least 20 distinct vocal expressions—covering actions like diving, sleeping, and social bonding—within the next five years, moving toward a functional understanding of cetacean communication.Gruber remains optimistic, comparing current progress to a two‑year‑old child speaking a few words, and hopes that future research will bring the field to a five‑year‑old level of linguistic capability.

When a Toronto reader confessed to always using "please" and "thank you" with Alexa, the Guardian invited its audience to share their thoughts on the etiquette of speaking to artificial assistants.One camp warns against treating AI as sentient beings, arguing that these systems merely mimic social cues and that confusing imitation with reality can erode our language’s power to challenge dehumanisation. As User30000 put it, we should avoid both de‑humanising language toward people and humanising language toward machines.Conversely, several contributors argue that politeness serves as a useful human default. Lauk notes that courteous phrasing may reinforce positive behavioural cues for AI that learn from user input, while also keeping the speaker grounded in genuine social norms.From an ecological standpoint, extra words translate into measurable energy and water waste. Superspartan highlights that each unnecessary token adds processing load to already energy‑intensive models, and that the cumulative effect of polite phrasing across millions of daily interactions could be substantial.Academic research supports the idea that courteous language can improve AI performance. A linked study finds that polite prompts often elicit more helpful replies, treating modern models as "statistical parrots" that mirror the tone they receive. Yet Sam Altman has publicly estimated that responding to thank‑you notes costs OpenAI tens of millions of dollars, underscoring a tangible financial dimension to the debate.Some readers take a lighter view, extending politeness to elevators, SUVs and even low‑battery iPads, while others, like Martin from Dorset, argue that the practice protects the human soul rather than the machine.There is growing concern that habitual rudeness toward AI may spill over into real‑world interactions. Poridgeoates observes that younger users, who spend more time with technology than with people, risk weakening empathy and emotional‑intelligence muscles if they treat conversational agents dismissively.Louise adds that the way we speak to objects can shape broader social behaviour, especially where power imbalances exist. While AI itself may not feel insulted, the act of being rude can reinforce undesirable character traits in the speaker.Overall, the discussion reveals a split between those who see politeness as a harmless habit that can improve AI responses, and those who view it as an unnecessary drain on resources and a potential threat to human civility.

In December and January, researchers from the Bob Brown Foundation recorded the unmistakable call of the swift parrot – the world’s fastest bird – in a section of the Wielangta forest, southeast Tasmania, that had already been earmarked for clear‑felling.Dr Charley Gros, a lead scientist on the project, described the call as “tiny but very loud, sharp and quick,” making it easy to distinguish from other forest sounds. Over a two‑month period, the team – assisted by volunteer citizen scientists – logged 68 separate observations, which were later vetted by a government scientist and uploaded to the state environment department’s database.Gros argued that the frequency of detections indicated the area was being used for foraging and nesting, not merely as a fly‑by corridor. “If they’re there every day, that is their habitat,” he said.When the recordings were submitted, the Forest Practices Authority dispatched an ecologist to the site (identified as coupe WT003E) on 10 February. The official report stated that “no swift parrots were observed breeding in the harvest area.” By that time, the forest patch had already been cleared, which Gros noted made the absence of birds unsurprising.The logging operation was carried out by Sustainable Timber Tasmania (formerly Forestry Tasmania). The agency maintained that it operated “within Tasmania’s strict forest‑practice framework” and that “nesting trees are retained and harvested areas are regenerated as native forest,” asserting compliance with environmental regulations.The incident revives a broader debate over whether existing legislation adequately safeguards threatened species. Critics point to the swift parrot’s precipitous decline – a CSIRO‑published guide in 2021 estimated the population at about 750 individuals, down from roughly 2,000 a decade earlier – and warn that without stronger protection the bird could be extinct by the early 2030s. Forestry remains identified as the greatest threat, though government officials have historically downplayed the link.The Bob Brown Foundation accused both state and federal governments of “blatantly ignoring scientific advice” and allowing logging that drives the species toward extinction. A Tasmanian government spokesperson countered that the state’s “science‑based forest practices system” prohibits deforestation of swift‑parrot habitat, emphasizing that regenerated forests will provide future flowering eucalypts.At the federal level, a spokesperson for the Albanese government noted that a regional forestry agreement places responsibility for habitat protection on Tasmania, but an exemption for state‑run forestry from national environmental law expires in 2027. After that date, any logging that significantly impacts threatened species would require approval from Canberra.Environmental campaigners, including the Wilderness Society, have intensified pressure on retailers such as Bunnings to stop sourcing timber from the contested coupe. The society argues that the forest‑certification program awarded to logs from WT003E does not guarantee sustainable practices. Alice Hardinge, the Wilderness Society’s Tasmanian campaigns manager, warned that “customers don’t want to be sold timber that destroys unique forests and pushes the swift parrot to extinction.”Bunnings responded that an internal review found “no evidence to indicate non‑compliance with Tasmanian environmental or logging laws at this site,” reaffirming its commitment to sourcing wood from compliant, well‑managed operations.

Allbirds, the sustainable trainer brand from San Francisco, has been sold to American Exchange Group for $39m (£29.6m). The brand was once valued at over $4bn but struggled to maintain demand for its wool-based footwear.The company's value tumbled by more than 99% since its listing on the US stock market in 2021. Allbirds had enjoyed rapid success in its early years, selling over 1m pairs of its original merino wool trainers in the first two years after its launch in 2016.Celebrities such as Leonardo DiCaprio, Oprah Winfrey, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Barack Obama were early adopters of the brand. However, the company's success was short-lived, and it eventually slipped into losses as competition intensified from eco-focused rivals.Neil Saunders, managing director of GlobalData, described Allbirds' downfall as going from 'a high flyer to a dead parrot.' The company's co-founder, Tim Brown, and engineer Joey Zwillinger had launched Allbirds amid growing interest in sustainable fashion.The takeover follows a sharp fall in sales in the third quarter of 2025, with a 23% decline to $33m and a $20.3m loss. Allbirds had been steadily closing stores since 2023 and announced the closure of all but two of its remaining 20 US stores.Joe Vernachio, CEO of Allbirds, stated that the next chapter for the brand will 'build on the foundational work already completed and set up the brand to thrive in the years ahead.'

The new HBO Max series Portobello had all the makings of a gripping drama: a charismatic TV host, a mind-controlled parrot, and allegations of mafia involvement. However, the show's pacing and tone leave much to be desired.Based on the true story of Enzo Tortora, the former host of Italy's top TV show, Portobello explores the intersection of celebrity, politics, and organized crime. The series' setting in the 1980s and its themes of false accusations and the power of the media are certainly relevant today.Despite its potential, the show's execution is wildly dull. The 72-minute first episode feels like a slog, and the period-authentic aesthetic, while well-intentioned, doesn't quite make up for the lack of tension or excitement. Even the bizarre subplot involving a mind-controlled parrot and its owner's obsession with Tortora can't seem to elevate the show's overall pace.The show's portrayal of the justice system is also noteworthy, highlighting the Kafkaesque experience faced by Tortora as he navigates the complexities of the law. However, this powerful theme is often overshadowed by the show's meandering pace and lack of dramatic tension.Ultimately, Portobello feels like a missed opportunity to create a compelling drama about a fascinating true story. While it may appeal to fans of character-driven dramas or those interested in Italian culture, others may find themselves checking their watches.

The Republic of Ireland's hopes of reaching the 2026 World Cup were cruelly extinguished in Prague as they suffered a penalty shootout defeat to the Czech Republic. Despite leading 2-0 and 3-2 in the shootout, Heimir Hallgrímsson's team failed to capitalize on their advantages and ultimately fell to a Ladislav Krejci equalizer in the 86th minute, forcing a shootout.Ireland had started brightly, with Troy Parrott scoring a penalty and an own goal by Czech goalkeeper Matej Kovar doubling their lead. However, a needless penalty conceded by Ryan Manning allowed the Czechs back into the contest. The Czech Republic, led by captain Ladislav Krejci, equalized in the 86th minute, sending the match into extra time and eventually a shootout.In the shootout, Caoimhín Kelleher made a crucial save but Finn Azaz and Alan Browne failed to convert their spot kicks, allowing the Czech Republic to advance. Jan Kliment converted the fifth and final spot-kick to send the Czech Republic into a home final against Denmark on Tuesday.The Republic of Ireland have now lost five of their last six World Cup playoff fixtures, and the pain of this latest defeat will be heightened by the realization that it was largely unnecessary. As Heimir Hallgrímsson said, 'Just pain, we all feel pain. When you go this far it's a flip of a coin. Just pain we feel being that close.'

The World Cup playoffs have reached a critical stage, with several high-stakes matches set to determine which European teams will qualify for the tournament. Gennaro Gattuso's Italy are facing a significant challenge against Northern Ireland, a team they have not beaten in a competitive match since 1983.Craig Bellamy's Wales are also in action, taking on Bosnia and Herzegovina in a match that promises to be closely contested. The winner of that tie will face either Poland or Albania in the playoff final.The Republic of Ireland, who reached the playoffs thanks to Troy Parrott's late winner in Hungary, have a tough match against the Czech Republic in Prague. The victor will play either Denmark or North Macedonia at home on Tuesday.Graham Potter's Sweden are another team in action, facing Ukraine in Valencia with the winner hosting Poland or Albania next week. If Sweden win both ties on penalties, they will become the first team to qualify for a World Cup without winning a single match since Hungary in 1954.These matches represent the final hurdle for several teams hoping to qualify for the World Cup, and the pressure is on for managers like Gattuso, Bellamy, and Potter to deliver results.