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Lead: A Decade‑Long Parade of Eurovision MisstepsThe Guardian’s countdown of the UK’s ten biggest Eurovision flops paints a stark picture of a nation repeatedly stumbling on the continent’s biggest pop stage. From early‑2000s off‑key mishaps to recent novelty acts that earned nil points, each entry reflects deeper questions about the country’s selection process and cultural relevance.Counting Down the UK's Ten Worst Eurovision Entries (2003‑2026)2003 – Jemini: First ever nul‑points, off‑key performance in Latvia.2008 – Andy Abraham: 14 points, last place from Belgrade.2010 – Josh Dubovie: 10 points, 179th place on UK charts.2012 – Engelbert Humperdinck: 12 points, 25th of 26.2015 – Electro Velvet: 5 points, electro‑swing flop.2019 – Michael Rice: 16 points (after a 5‑point deduction), last place.2021 – James Newman: Second nul‑points for the UK, finished last.2023 – Mae Muller: Second‑from‑bottom, only beat Germany.2026 – Look Mum No Computer: Single jury point, zero viewer votes.2007 – Scooch: 19 points, second‑from‑last, dubbed a “crash landing”.Numbers That Tell the Story: Points, Rankings, and Public ReactionThe data reveal a troubling trend: six of the ten entries finished in the bottom two, and three received nul points. Points earned range from a high of 19 (Scooch) to a low of 0 (Look Mum No Computer). The average placement across the list is 22nd out of roughly 26 participants, underscoring a chronic underperformance.Why the UK Keeps Missing the Mark: Cultural and Structural FactorsSeveral factors explain the persistent failures:Selection Process: Reliance on public votes or internal selections that prioritize novelty over pan‑European appeal.Geopolitical Voting: The contest’s bloc voting patterns often sideline the UK, which lacks strong regional allies.Genre Mismatch: Entries like electro‑swing or novelty synth‑pop clash with the prevailing Eurovision trends.Media Narrative: Repeated criticism fuels a self‑fulfilling prophecy, dampening morale among artists.Looking Ahead: What Might Turn the Tide for Britain?Experts suggest a few possible paths forward:Revamp the Selection Mechanism: Adopt a hybrid model that blends industry expertise with public input.Strategic Songwriting: Partner with proven Eurovision songwriters to craft entries that balance British identity with continental tastes.Invest in Staging: Allocate resources for high‑impact visual performances, a proven success factor in recent contests.Engage the Diaspora: Mobilise UK‑based fans across Europe to boost televote support.If the BBC and the music industry act on these recommendations, the UK could break its three‑decade winless streak and restore credibility on the Eurovision stage.

The Lead: A Mis‑Timed Pandemic ThrillerGuardian reviewer Erin Kellyman returns to the plague‑infested screen in Woken, a 2023‑made post‑apocalyptic thriller that aims to ride the post‑Covid zeitgeist but ultimately falters under its own ambitions.The Narrative Setup: Amnesiac Survival on a Plague‑Ravaged IslandKellyman plays Anna, an amnesiac, heavily pregnant woman who awakens in a rundown cottage on an isolated island, unaware that a pandemic is sweeping the region. Guided by the unsettling neighbour Helen (Maxine Peake) and a dubious husband James (Ivanno Jeremiah), Anna’s reality unravels when infected castaways arrive on a swan‑shaped pedalo, prompting a violent confrontation that reveals the island’s true horror.Visual and Thematic Influences: Echoes of Children of Men and Social‑Realist Brit Sci‑FiDirector Alan Friel frames the story against brooding shale cliffs, using muted interiors and seagrass‑fringed impressionism to highlight Anna’s fragility. The film nods to the social‑realist British sci‑fi lineage of Never Let Me Go and Children of Men, especially in its bleak world‑building and the later shift toward clandestine labs, ligament‑weaving surgery units, and fascistic hazmat squads.Critical Verdict: Strong Performances Undermined by a Disjointed PlotWhile Kellyman’s “wide‑eyed, floundering” performance and Peake’s authoritative presence earn praise, the narrative never fully gels. The first half feels like “tepid domestic parlour games” dressed in visual flair, and the second half’s sci‑fi revelations feel regurgitated, making the film’s climax feel like a “certifiable debt” to its inspirations.Future Outlook: Post‑Covid Horror Must Find Fresh GroundWoken will be available on digital platforms from 25 May 2026, but its mixed reception signals that the genre needs more originality than pandemic‑centric melodrama. For filmmakers, the lesson is clear: compelling visuals and strong acting cannot compensate for a story that fails to innovate within an increasingly saturated post‑pandemic horror market.

The LeadThe New York Times has revealed that Israel constructed two covert military outposts in Iraq's western desert in advance of the US-Israel war on Iran. This revelation comes amid escalating tensions between the three nations and has significant implications for Middle East geopolitics.The Covert Military OperationsAccording to the report, Israeli forces had been preparing to establish one of the makeshift sites since late 2024. The bases were reportedly located in Iraq's western desert near the border with Saudi Arabia. One base was established shortly before the war began and operated with the knowledge of the United States, housing Israeli special forces and serving as a logistical hub for air operations, including search-and-rescue capabilities for downed pilots.Israeli forces reportedly launched attacks from the base against Iraqi units that came close to discovering the site in early March. Open-source analysts identified the suspected location using satellite imagery, confirming the presence of Israeli military infrastructure in Iraqi territory.Regional Responses and DenialsIraqi officials have publicly denied authorizing any foreign military presence in the area. Lieutenant-General Qais al-Muhammadawi, Iraq's deputy commander of joint operations, stated that authorities had received reports of 'individuals or movement' in the Najaf desert near Karbala, about 100km southwest of Baghdad.However, Baghdad reportedly privately lodged a protest with Washington in late March over suspected covert military activity, calling it a violation of Iraqi sovereignty. Despite these reports, a senior Iraqi security official again denied that Israel had established a military base in the desert when speaking to Turkiye's Anadolu news agency.Geopolitical ImplicationsThe reports add to months of conflicting accounts over alleged Israeli activity inside Iraq and come as Iraq faces growing pressure amid escalating tensions between the US, Israel and Iran. Washington has repeatedly urged Baghdad to curb the influence of Iran-backed armed groups operating in Iraq.In March, US forces carried out strikes against the Popular Mobilisation Forces after attacks on a US diplomatic and logistics facility near Baghdad airport. Iran has also raised concerns over the allegations, with Iranian Ministry of Foreign Affairs spokesperson Esmaeil Baghaei stating that Tehran would raise the issue with Iraqi authorities and accusing Israel of seeking to destabilize the region.Future OutlookThe revelation of Israeli military bases in Iraq further complicates an already volatile regional situation. As the conflict with Iran continues, the presence of foreign military forces in Iraq without Baghdad's authorization risks escalating tensions and destabilizing the region further.The international community, particularly the United States, faces increasing pressure to address these covert operations and their implications for regional stability. The situation highlights the complex web of alliances and conflicts that characterize Middle East politics and the challenges of maintaining sovereignty in the face of powerful external interests.

The Auction Floor: A Microcosm of the UK Housing CrisisAt the De Vere Grand Connaught Rooms in central London, a frantic scene of numbered paddles and gavel blows unfolded as a woman shouted, “That’s my house,” while her 20‑year home was auctioned off. The episode encapsulated the human toll of a market where mortgage arrears and rising living costs are pushing long‑term residents into public sales.Escalating Auction Volumes and Repo‑Driven ListingsProperty auctions have become a major channel for disposing of distressed assets. In 2025, Essential Information Group reported that nearly £5.9 bn of residential and commercial stock changed hands at auction, up from £5.5 bn the previous year. Repossessed homes now account for more than 20% of auction inventory, driven by higher mortgage rates and the broader cost‑of‑living crisis.14,025 mortgage repossession orders were issued in England and Wales in 2024 – the highest in five years.300 properties across England and Wales were listed for sale at the London auction, ranging from a £1 guide‑price boarded‑up house in the north‑east to multi‑million‑pound estates.£5.9 bn in Auction Sales Highlights Market ShiftThe jump to £5.9 bn signals a structural shift: auctions are no longer a niche for “homes‑under‑the‑hammer” but a mainstream venue for high‑quality properties. Examples from the day include:A one‑bedroom basement flat in Pimlico sold for just over £450,000.A four‑bedroom townhouse in Wapping fetched £800,000.A Devon bungalow with garden sold for £327,500.Buyers’ premiums of 2‑5% are added to these prices, further boosting auction house revenues.Why Auctions Are Becoming a Mainstream Buying ChannelIndustry insiders note a changing perception. Alex Greaves, a buying agent at Ridgestone Property, expects weekly repossession lots at auction and sees “an uptick” in central London listings. Liam Gretton, an estate agent in Wirral, likens high‑value homes at auction to selling a Picasso – the venue guarantees exposure and swift settlement.Younger buyers are also entering the arena. First‑time purchaser Alice Helps, 26, secured a Somerset semi‑detached house for £178,000 after a virtual bid, illustrating how auctions can provide a pathway onto the property ladder when traditional new‑builds are unaffordable.Future Outlook: Auctions and Affordable‑Home AccessAs mortgage pressures persist, the auction market is likely to expand further. Analysts anticipate:Continued growth in repo‑driven listings, especially in London and the South East.Greater adoption of online bidding platforms, lowering the psychological barrier for first‑time buyers.Potential policy scrutiny over the transparency and consumer protection standards of auction sales.If these trends hold, auctions could become a pivotal mechanism for delivering affordable housing, but they also risk cementing a market where distressed sellers have limited bargaining power.

The Personal Connection to Stardust For Claire Danes and her family, Stardust has transcended its status as a simple film to become something of a cure-all. In a personal essay, Danes reveals how the movie has treated everything from bad days at work to an overdose of adult cynicism. Our Sunday nights followed a certain ritual, she recalls, with her and her two siblings sitting on the sofa, ignoring that school was on the next day, and watching their battered DVD copy of Stardust. The Film's Magic: Unashamedly Cheesy Stardust, adapted from a Neil Gaiman novel, works as a feelgood movie precisely because it's so unashamedly cheesy. The film tells the story of Tristan Thorn (Charlie Cox), a young man living in a quaintly twee version of England who sets out on a quest to retrieve a fallen star. Things take an unexpected turn when the star turns out to be Yvaine (Claire Danes), a person being hunted by three witches who want to eat her heart. The resulting adventure is big, romantic, and complete with a sweeping soundtrack as the pair travels across the mythical continent of Stormhold, eventually falling in love. Despite not making significant waves upon its 2007 release, the film found a special place in Danes's unapologetically nerdy household, where magic was the air they breathed. The Cultural Impact: A Modern Fantasy Classic Spiritually, Stardust feels like a successor to the 1987 classic The Princess Bride, though with Claire Danes's character given slightly more to do than Buttercup. The film's appeal extends beyond its fantasy elements—Danes highlights Michelle Pfeiffer's enthusiastic scenery-chewing as the lead witch Lamia, which goes beyond terrifying into pure camp. The entire film is an exercise in camp, featuring excessive world-building, magical inns, human stars, pirates harvesting lightning on sky ships, and sly jokes hinting at even more backstory. The cast reads like a who's who of big names: Claire Danes, Rupert Everett, Mark Strong, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sienna Miller, Ian McKellen, Robert De Niro as a tutu-wearing pirate, and a young Henry Cavill. The Lasting Appeal: Flaws and All Does Stardust stand up to a rewatch? Some elements have aged badly, Danes admits. The modern feminist perspective might balk at Tristan having to save Yvaine in the final act, or at Lamia being evil because she's terrified of aging. The entire film is also fearsomely naff—something that definitely didn't come from Gaiman's book. Yet that's part of its charm. When Danes revisited Gaiman's novel after university, she found it lacking the whimsy and breathless adventure that made the film such a delight. Where Gaiman's prose comes across as dry and detached, Stardust the movie is openhearted and warm—a story where good guys win and baddies get what's coming to them. The Comfort in Fantasy: An Antidote to Stress In a world that feels increasingly fractious and scary, Stardust offers comfort. Like a warm bath, it's an antidote to all things stressful. Danes concludes that the film's ability to provide this escape is what makes it special, transcending its flaws to become a beloved family tradition that continues to bring joy. Stardust is available on Peacock and Hoopla in the US, to rent digitally in the UK and on 10 in Australia

Relentless Memory is a documentary by Paura Rodríguez that stitches together archival testimony, personal travelogue, and contemporary voices to create an oral history of the Mapuche people’s resistance between 1862‑1885. By following academic Margarita Canio Llanquinao on a journey across Patagonia, the film exposes the brutal repression of the Mapuche and underscores the urgency of preserving indigenous narratives.Documentary Overview: Uncovering the Mapuche StruggleThe film opens with Llanquinao discovering the testimony of Katrulaf, a Mapuche prisoner of war, in a Berlin archive. Her subsequent trek across the Patagonian pampas and the Andes mirrors the historic deportation route, juxtaposing sweeping, impressionistic landscapes with a stark voice‑over drawn from Katrulaf’s written interviews. The narrative interweaves personal reflection, interviews with educators, elders, and activists, and vivid imagery of deserts, forests, and roaming wildlife, creating a layered portrait of a people whose history has been systematically suppressed.Absence of Box‑Office Data: What the Lack of Numbers RevealsUnlike mainstream releases, the review provides no box‑office or streaming‑viewership figures for Relentless Memory. The documentary premiered on the True Story platform on 22 May, targeting a niche audience interested in historical and human‑rights content rather than commercial success. This distribution choice highlights the film’s intent to prioritize cultural impact over profit, positioning it within the growing sector of socially‑driven documentary streaming.Why the Film Matters: Reviving Suppressed Indigenous NarrativesBy foregrounding first‑hand accounts and contemporary Mapuche voices, the documentary challenges the historical narrative that has long been dominated by Chilean and Argentine state perspectives. It serves as a living archive, preserving testimonies that were once buried, and offers a cautionary lens for future generations about the consequences of colonial violence and cultural erasure. The film’s emotional resonance and visual grandeur amplify its educational value, making it a vital resource for scholars, activists, and policy‑makers.Looking Ahead: Potential Influence on Cultural Policy and Future FilmmakingThe critical attention garnered by Relentless Memory may encourage broadcasters and streaming services to commission more projects that center indigenous histories. In regions where Mapuche rights remain contested, the documentary could bolster advocacy efforts, prompting governments to reconsider reparations, land‑return policies, and educational curricula. For filmmakers, the work demonstrates how archival research combined with immersive travelogue storytelling can produce compelling, advocacy‑driven cinema.

Smallie by Eden McKenzie‑Goddard is a debut novel that intertwines a 1960s Caribbean migration story with a present‑day Home Office removal notice, exposing the personal toll of the Windrush scandal.Dual Timeline Reveals the Machinery of ExclusionThe narrative alternates between 1961, when 19‑year‑old Lucinda Brown sails from Barbados to England in search of the father of her child, and 2026, when she receives a terse Home Office letter declaring her an illegal immigrant after 50 years in the country. This structure lets McKenzie‑Goddard juxtapose the intimate details of Lucinda’s daily life—her cramped Hackney flat, long cleaning shifts, and fraught relationships—with the cold, bureaucratic logic that can erase a lifetime of belonging in an instant.Financial and Publishing ContextPublisher: VikingRetail price: £16.99Length: just under 300 pagesRelease date: 2026While modest in size, the book’s production values and pricing place it squarely in the mainstream literary market, ensuring wide accessibility for readers interested in contemporary British fiction.Why the Novel Reshapes the Windrush NarrativeSmallie moves beyond reportage by giving voice to the “invisible” lives reduced to paperwork. Through Lucinda’s son Mark’s description of a removal van as “a cage,” the novel illustrates how state decisions become personal trauma. The inclusion of a Conservative MP son mirrors real‑world political debates, forcing readers to confront the paradox of families caught in the very policies they help shape.Literary Merits and Stylistic ChoicesProse described as lyrical yet restrained, avoiding overwriting.Use of Caribbean dialect adds authenticity and warmth.Cliffhanger‑driven pacing gives the novel a propulsive energy.Some secondary relationships feel under‑developed, a minor drawback in an otherwise dense work.These elements collectively position Smallie alongside classics like Andrea Levy’s Small Island, but with a sharper focus on the fragility of belonging.Future of British Immigrant LiteratureAs one of the first novels to tackle the Windrush scandal head‑on, Smallie is likely to become a reference point for future writers exploring post‑colonial British identity. Its success may encourage publishers to invest in more stories that blend personal narrative with systemic critique, expanding the literary canon around migration and state power.

The Historic VictoryJannik Sinner has completed the coveted Golden Masters in tennis to become only the second man after Novak Djokovic to win all nine Masters 1000 events – the biggest tournaments outside the Grand Slams.Top-ranked Sinner’s 6-4, 6-4 victory over Casper Ruud in Sunday’s final of the Italian Open also made him the first Italian man to win the tournament since Adriano Panatta in 1976.The Career Achievement“There’s no better place to complete this set,” Sinner said after winning the title and accomplishing the feat on the red clay of the Foro Italico in front of jubilant home fans, who finally saw the half-century-long wait come to an end.“For an Italian, it’s one of the most special places we play tennis in. To win at least once in my career means a lot to me.”The Data Behind Sinner's SuccessDjokovic completed the career set in 2018 in Cincinnati at age 31 – and then went on to win each event at least twice. Sinner is 24, and with his only real rival, Carlos Alcaraz, currently sidelined due to a right wrist injury, seemingly nobody can beat him.Sinner extended his winning streak to 29 matches. He hasn’t lost since being beaten by Jakub Mensik in the Qatar Open quarterfinals on February 19 . And he’s now 17-0 on clay this year entering the French Open, which starts on Sunday.The Impact on Italian Tennis“Welcome to the exclusive club, Jannik,” Djokovic wrote on Instagram.Sinner celebrated calmly as usual, revealing a wide smile when he landed an inside-out forehand on the line on his first championship point, then held his hands over his head in apparent relief. Then he waved to the crowd, which included Panatta sitting in the front row.The Future OutlookRoland Garros is the only Grand Slam that Sinner hasn’t won: he has two Australian Open titles and has won Wimbledon and the US Open once each.

The Growing Threat of Business Crime in the UKUK business leaders are issuing a stark warning that crime has become an increasingly "serious barrier" to growing Britain's economy, with two-fifths of companies experiencing some form of criminal activity in the past year. The British Chambers of Commerce (BCC) is calling on the government to provide "a step change in the support businesses can count on" as businesses face rising levels of theft, fraud, and cyber-attacks.Rising Crime Statistics Across Business SectorsThe BCC's research, based on a survey of 1,411 firms, reveals that crime against businesses is widespread and growing. Key findings include:Two-fifths of companies experienced some form of crime in the past yearOne-fifth of companies faced fraud or scams21% experienced cyber-attacks50% of manufacturing companies reported business crime, making it the hardest hit sectorLarger companies are more vulnerable, with 58% of firms employing more than 250 people experiencing crime, compared to 32% of microbusinessesRetail businesses have been particularly affected by shoplifting, with police-recorded incidents rising 20% year on year to reach 516,971 offences in the year to December 2024, exceeding 530,000 by March 2025.Financial Impact on Major CompaniesThe financial consequences of business crime have been substantial, with several high-profile companies suffering significant losses. The hack of Jaguar Land Rover alone is estimated to have cost the UK economy £1.9bn, potentially making it the most costly cyber-attack in British history. Marks & Spencer took a £324m hit to profits after being forced to close its website to orders for more than six weeks following a damaging cyber-attack. Other major companies affected include the Co-op and Booking.com.Industry-Wide Consequences and Economic ImpactCrime against businesses is creating "structural barriers to growth" according to the BCC, forcing companies to divert crucial time and money away from expansion and investment. The impact spans across sectors, from retail and manufacturing to tradespeople experiencing surging tool thefts that threaten their ability to operate. As Ellis Shelton, a policy manager at the BCC, noted, "Bosses are being forced to divert crucial time and money to tackling this anchor on growth."The rising sophistication of criminal activities, particularly in cybercrime and fraud, has left many businesses struggling to keep pace with security measures, especially small and medium-sized enterprises with limited resources.Call for Government Action and Future OutlookIn response to the growing threat, the BCC has called for several specific measures from the government:Creation of a cyber-attack reporting system for companiesEstablishment of regional business crime hubs bringing together police and business crime reduction partnershipsExpansion of cyber and fraud resilience support for small and medium-sized businessesMore incentives for companies to invest in securityWithout decisive action, business crime is likely to continue hampering UK economic growth, with the most sophisticated threats potentially targeting larger companies with greater resources. The BCC's warning suggests that addressing business crime must become a priority for policymakers if the UK is to overcome this "serious barrier" to economic expansion.